My homemade version of those fabulous store bought cookies that are like a piece of delicious cake. It makes about 6 dozen but easy to half the recipe measurements. With five boys and my husband and I who enjoy sweets, I just don't bother unless it's a humongous batch:

COOKIE DOUGH
1 cup sour cream (or 1 cup of smooth yogurt with 1 tsp baking soda added)
2 cups sugar
1 cup softened butter
4 eggs
1.5 tsp vanilla
6 cups flour
3 tsp baking powder
1 tsp of baking soda (this is in addition to what you already added to the yogurt if you're not using sour cream)
1 tsp salt

BUTTERCREAM FROSTING
3 cups powdered sugar
2 tsp vanilla
2 Tbsp milk
1/2 cup butter softened
1/2 cup butter flavored shortening (you could probably use plain but I prefer the buttery flavor but it helps to have the oily texture mixed with the buttery goodness)
Food color and sprinkles, optional

Preheat oven to 350. You can refrigerate the dough for easier handling but I just dusted flour on the cookie sheet, kept my hands floured, and dipped my cookie scoop in flour. Who has time to wait for dough to chill? I used a one inch scoop and then rolled the dough into a uniform ball. IMPORTANT: These cookies do not run and flatten. Flatten the cookies with your hand to the size you want them. They rise really well so don't worry if you think they look flat. Bake for 10 minutes and no longer. They don't look very done but they are. Transfer immediately to a wire rack to cool. And frost when they are completely cooled. In my opinion, they are even BETTER the next day.

Papers & Ashes

[I found this journal entry on my computer today while cleaning it off...brought back a lot of memories...]

My mother passed from earth to her heavenly home on Sunday, November 1, 2009 at 5:45 p.m.  I am assured of her eternal life because God promised in His word that “…the one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out.”  My mother turned her life over to Him many years ago as we sat at the kitchen table over a Bible study.  God saves.  He keeps.   [See the Good News! Link above]

 The memory of the inevitable phone call, as is often the case with any tragedy, will be forever etched in my mind.  The relief that she was at peace was the first feeling I recall (Psalm 23:4, Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me. “).  I immediately recalled being with her just two hours earlier, sitting at her bedside, comforting her,  and now amazed to think that she is in the presence of God Almighty (Psalm 116:15, “Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of His saints”).  It was only another matter of seconds before the deep sadness hit me, realizing that my dear mother had left this world just moments before this phone call (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18). 

I was not tremendously close to or dependent upon my mom, but she was MY mom.  I have immense respect for what she was able to accomplish and forge ahead with, even when life became extremely difficult many times.  I have some very fond memories of times together, especially as a small child.  I recall times of walking through the woods in Northern Michigan exploring and enjoying nature and wildlife together.   I appreciate everyday care showed in nutritious lunches, hot home-cooked dinners, and just talking and laughing together about big things and small.  I like to say she was “my biggest fan” as it were.  She always laughed heartily at my feeble jokes.  And, I was always her only daughter, a source of pride and joy which I am sure of now.  We were safe company for one another – no false expectations, no real great contentions, but seeming like old friends at the end.

I am overwhelmed by the worldly evidence of her existence, or lack thereof.  I do not speak of worldly goods by any means.  But, rather to the hospital, the Social Security Administration, the mortuary, to all these, the only proof of her existence is what is now in my sole possession:  her birth certificate, her remains, and her death certificate.   My heart yearns to cry out that the world has lost yet another special person.  She was my mom but she was also a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a friend, a grandma and more.  She was a creation of God and her death was precious in His sight.

So, while to most of the world she is now merely a couple pieces of paper, she is to me what she poured into me and my brothers.  With five small boys of my own, I marvel that she let any of us even live past childhood!  Really, it’s a HARD job and she had to go it alone.  I will respect my children.  I will keep on, even though I think I have it tough sometimes and will remember that she had it much tougher.  I will remain optimistic.  I will persevere whether things can or cannot be changed.  I will resign myself to the will of God when I cannot change things.  I will repeat my mom’s silly jokes – the ones that used to make me roll my eyes back in my head.   And, I will cry every time I read this because that’s what she would have done.

Life is a vapor and if you don’t believe it now, you will eventually!   You will know it.  How fast it goes.   Even when the days seem long and arduous, you look back and marvel at the brevity.  Read Psalm 39:5, 39:11, and James 4:14.  Read the book of Ecclesiastes.  Let us not think we have years, months, or even weeks or days.  Every moment is God’s and we ought to remember that.  Now.

Is Anybody Out There?

I am sure if I ever did have an "audience" that I have been deserted by now. And, rightfully so. My faithful friend of 30 years just reminded me today that she checks my blog occasionally and that since it has been almost a year since my last post that it was probably time for another entry.

Well, if you're still here and you've read this far, let me just tell you that I would love to sit and write. I find it very therapeutic, however, I cannot just allow 15 minutes here or there to peck away (as someone has kindly suggested) because I can't even settle down to collect my thoughts within that short span of time.

Since my last entry my newborn has turned into a toddler, my mother for whom I was caring has passed away, my faithful and very loved husband has been diagnosed with cancer, my beloved pastor and his wife have moved to the other side of the country, and I have five small children (all boys, mind you) and that occupies much of my time, energy, and thoughts. I know that God will give me time someday, if He so chooses, to hopefully share some of these life experiences. I have learned so much, grown in ways unimagineable, and it all brings me closer to Christ. For now, I read "Streams in the Desert" and just try to meditate on the kernels of truth from there throughout each day. I thank God everyday for the blessings of trials. They are storing up for me treasures that no one can take away and helping me on to Christ as nothing else can. And, for now, that means I am busy. I mean really busy.

At my husband's urging, I will be teaching a ladies' Sunday School series soon on Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. It won't be my own original ideas but I will be elaborating on each lie as much as I can. Perhaps I will be able to post the gleanings here. I'll have to check first to make sure I'm not plagiarizing. LOL! It just ocurred to me that it might be better if you just get the book :). Go here. It is likely that I will come up with a thing or two to share though ;).

So, dear friend, thank you for your prompting. I would have never guessed it has taken me a year to come back to this site, even though it is my own blog! Maybe now, it will be on my mind and heart again as I go through my days...usually the things I share are things that burn in my heart and the only way I can explain it is that God has me here for someone. Sometimes our little corner of the world is small and that is fine by me. But, if you can help someone, just one on her pilgrimage, then you've made all the difference in the world.

I'm Still Here

I have been encouraged by my dear, sweet husband to keep writing. I assume he meant here on my blog. I consider him to be a really great writer, thinker, and speaker so I certainly take it as a wonderful compliment.

I think of things all the time that I would like to elaborate on but by the time I get to my desk to start elaborating something else becomes much more urgent and I usually forget. I do have five children now - all boys - which means vigilant care and constant stimulation. Not to mention the cleaning, laundry (oh the laundry!!!), and food prep involved! I hear from parents of both boys and girls that boys are harder when they're little because they are so busy but become much easier than girls as they grow. I don't want to wish their lives away but I do look forward to a moment's peace here and there :). If you're checking out my blog and don't know me, our boys right now are 7 yrs, 3 yrs, 2 yr old twins, and a newborn of almost 3 months. Four boys ages three and under. Sometimes (truthfully, MANY times) I wonder at the insanity and have to remind myself: "One day at a time."

So, thanks for checking in. I would like to ask you to please pray for me. God gives me so many wonderful verses, thoughts, comforts, strengths, convictions throughout each day. I desire to share them with the hope and earnest prayer of encouraging someone else along the way but also to have my own personal journal of remembrance. I've started many journals throughout the years, but ultimately give up because, as an afterthought, realize that I have recorded way too much personal information. Many of my journals have been thrown away because of that and because they merely became gripe sessions. My thinking is that if I have a journal that "open to the public", I will be a lot more careful to record only that which is worth remembering.

And, I am thanking Mrs. Garcia right now. She was my high school "Creative Writing" teacher. She also encouraged me to write, write, write. She would be very proud to read this and see that I did not use the word "there" one single time. I got many papers and journal entries back with the word "there" underlined in red countless times.

A Good Day

You hear people say it all the time: "Have a good day!" Or, "How was your day?" Is that just an American thing or do people all over the world size up their days? I think for a majority of Earth's population, the main concern might be whether they have eaten or earned any sustenance at all for their families. We are silly as a people though and I am guilty just the same of determining whether my day went to my liking. I think most of us get to the end of the day and make an assessment on how it went. Was it good? Bad? Anything to our liking? Something fun? Too much work? Got to shop? Kids were quiet? Was the weather cooperative? Did any circumstance give me grief? Did someone ruin my day? So the sizing up goes.

I know this to be true: when I begin my day with prayerful thoughts and am fortunate enough to wake up before my four busy boys (they like to get up when or before it is "shiny" out) then I like to enjoy a delicious cup of coffee, snuggled into the corner of a couch, and read God's word and pray for whatever the day may bring. I know that doing that in and of itself does not guarantee a "good day" as we like to think of them, but I know that it will generally create the likelihood of a "good me" to face whatever the day may bring.

I skip around the Bible a lot these days - being scattered in every area of my life seems to be the overriding theme with four small boys, one on the way, an ailing mother, and just an overall busy life. But, lately I have been fixed in Nehemiah and have been stuck on chapters 8 and 9 in particular. Chapter 9 is especially beautiful. You will find phrases like "You are the Lord God", You alone are the Lord", and "the host of heaven bows down to You." Here is a link to a favorite song of mine by Dave Mincy, "You Are God."

I also find the revival so interesting and challenging. I love the hunger for God's word, the people's willingness to sit for hours to listen to it, and then to repent and pray for hours more. I know in my own heart I need more grief over my own sin and more rejoicing in Him. So, how's YOUR day?

Psalm 84:11

Ever since our fourth miscarriage in 1999, my husband and I have found special comfort in Psalm 84:11.  We commissioned a talented artist friend to paint it for us and here is her excellent work.  This will take center stage on the gargantuan wall in our family room.  Go see Sara's amazing stuff here.

Oh, Grow Up!!!

My husband has been reading an intriguing book he received for his birthday this year (thanks, Granna!) and has periodically shared a good bit of it with me over the holiday down time.  It is called "The Death of the Grown Up" and is eye-opening, if not wholly disturbing.  I will let you take a gander at it on Amazon yourself instead of going into great detail here but the basic premise of the book is that the arrested development of people in our culture is very well bringing down our entire Western Civilization.  By the way, let me just say here too that book can be jarringly frank and I have not heard the end of the book or what Ms. West purports the solution might be but let me say this:  We must be frank with one another and if our morality and purpose of being is rooted in and stayed upon God's word alone then we have all the more reason to be bold in our stand (frank) as born-again, Bible-believing Christians and we KNOW the solution.  It is in Christ alone and a personal relationship with Him.

My husband's sermon today was stirring.   I don't know if it is the principles he was engaged in from this book or if it from my own filter of knowledge of what he has shared with me, but the whole sad scenario of today's mind-set seemed to ring yet more loudly the sorry state of the so-called adults in our country.  The message was from Luke 9 about the three men who wanted to to care for earthly matters before devoting themselves fully to Christ.  One said he would follow Him wherever He went, yet he was not willing to make the sacrifices necessary to do just that.  Let us not be half-hearted Christians!  Let us not be silly about the things of this world but rather let us be serious about knowing our God.  Having a passion for God, His written word being taken literally, and perhaps even choosing to err (although I don't think it is) on the side of righteousness will necessitate that the world will relegate us to the outer edge of acceptable social standing.  So be it.  

And, Lord, may I say with this poor man who knew NOT what he had to give up to follow you, "Lord, I will follow You wherever You go!"  May I be mature enough to recognize that putting you first will put all the other details of my life in order.  Let me not be so full of myself and my own life that I relegate YOU to the outer edge of my life.  May I recognize that my life is not my own.  I am bought with a price.  And, as I have been trying in earnest to teach my six year old son lately, this life is not about me me me.  It is about Him Him Him, serving others, and to remember ultimately that whatever I do, good or evil, affects others.  I want more than anything for my children to be effective, working parts of the body of Christ, causing growth, edifying, and demonstrating Biblical love.

Ephesians 4:14-16, "That we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ—  from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.

By the way, thanks Hon for sharing all your thoughts with me and for your message today.  I suppose I should entitle this post, "Oh, Grow UP!!! by Jim Oesterwind" as they are mainly your original thoughts and ideas, aside from the Scripture of course :).